Truth Bitter Truth

There was a time when I was a connoisseur of cheap beer.  Koch’s Golden Anniversary, Carling Black Label,  Schaefer, Red White & Blue: I knew them all.  So I read with interest this taste test of cheap, domestic cans of beer conducted by the Going Out Gurus.  Here are the ratings, with my comments.

1. National Bohemian
I lived in Baltimore for six years, so I know me some Natty Boh. I never much cared for it in a can, but I spent many a pleasant evening drinking Natty Boh bottles on the stoop with my roommate.  Sadly, I don’t think the beer is brewed in Maryland anymore.

2.  Miller High Life
My own personal favorite cheap beer, though again, I prefer it in a bottle.  The Champagne of Beers seems to have become more popular in the last 3 or so years; I no longer get comments like ‘My grandfather used to drink that’ when I order one. But it’s not popular enough that every bar stocks it, but both the Local and the Alterna-Local.

3. Pabst Blue Ribbon
Horrible bilge water now associated with hipsters.

4. Bud Light
Mostly harmless. And tasteless.

5. Schaefer
I drank loads and loads of this horrible shite in college, a fact reflected in my GPA. The best that can be said is that the beer was cold and cheap.

6. Schlitz
This is the worst beer I have ever tasted. Given the vast array of cheap beer I’ve had, this should tell you something, as well as serving as a warning.  The last time  I had a Schlitz was when the Bunny inflicted one on me some night at Foley’s a few years back.  He actually likes Schlitz, which I suppose could also serve as a warning.