Darker With The Day
Since I am feeling nostalgic and contradictory today, the following is a list of Disney movie titles that I recall without being sure I ever actually saw, while feeling great sadness that ‘they don’t make movies like this anymore.’ With annotations.
Hot Lead & Cold Feet – Did this have Don Knotts in it? ‘Cause it should have.
The Shaggy D.A. – I think maybe I did see this one. It starred Annette Funicello, right?
Treasure Island – I definitely saw this one. Maybe.
Candleshoe – I saw Candleshoe, in the theater, but I have stronger memories of the preview that preceded it – for Charlton Heston’s Grey Lady Down.
That Darn Cat – I just like to say this one out loud.
The Gnome Mobile – This title has a charming awkwardness about it that suggests the publicist was hung over.
The Parent Trap – Not the Lindsay Lohan version. I always confuse this one with Please Don’t Eat The Daisies, which in my memory aired frequently on Channel 56. I could also be thinking of the Cheaper By The Dozen.
Darby O’Gill and the Little People – Sean Connery wishes he had done a porno instead.
20,000 Leagues Under The Sea – This was a badass movie. I think I’m going to add it to my Netflix queue.
The Cat From Outer Space – Another one I like to say out loud. Or make restaurant reservations under.
The Ugly Dachsund – Wow, do you see a trend here? George Lucas working from the same ‘bare-bones’ title philosophy would have brought us The Lightsabre Guy instead of Star Wars.
The Shaggy Dog – I’m drawing a blank with this one.
Charlie the Lonesome Cougar – Disney children’s film, or Skinemax soft core? You decide.
The Boatniks – I think I remember the commercials for this, or at least the theme song which involved yelling ‘The Booaat – Niks!’ a lot.
The Apple Dumpling Gang – Surely Don Knotts was in this?
The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes – Pure awesomeness. A declarative sentence and an archaic term, all in one title. Truly the art of naming movies has dwindled in our time.
Those Calloways – … make no sense at all.
Unidentified Flying Oddball – It is with great shame I recall how desperate I was to see this movie in the third grade, so desperate that I ordered the novelization from the Scholastic book club and read it. Repeatedly. Oh, the humanity.
The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes? Really?
Never heard of it.
I like the note about Darby and I think Candleshoe is the only one I can remember seeing from this particular list. Never before disclosed Heather fact: I wrote a diary entry about watching Candleshoe, without actually providing any details about the film. When I looked up teh film details, it seems I have forgotten the entire movie, including the premise. I just remember that Jodie Foster was in it.
Really. I believe Kurt Russell was in it.
You kept a diary?
I call it a journal now that I’m all grown up.
I keep a slam book myself.
Scary, but true–I, too, purchased the novelization of Unidentified Flying Oddball from Scholastic. Or was it Troll? I read it a couple of time, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen it either. Off to Netflix…
You’ll netflix Unidentified Flying Oddball, but not Finian’s Rainbow!?
It might’ve been Troll books. I got it form whatever company did ‘Dynamite’ magazine.
Ok, what about…
a. Pete’s Dragon – can’t spell Passamaquoddy? See this movie!
b. Escape To Witch Mountain – Creepy sibs fight crime together!
c. Herbie The Love Bug – Vrooooooooooom!
Just some thoughts. Now I have to add these to my Netflix queue.
Well it’s like this…
a. Wasn’t this some damn cartoon? We’re talking live action films here, boss.
b. Creepy? You called Tia creepy? She who made my second grade heart go a-thumpity? Creepy? For shame sir. I bid you good day.
c. This movie was stupid. I think the retarded kid in my grade like it, but I didn’t.
Kurt was in it. He was in a lot of Disney flicks, actually. Bad ones! Awesomely bad.
You know what movie was awesome? The Incredible Mr. Limpet. Don Knotts as a cartoon fish that helps the Navy by hunting Nazi subs? FUCK YEAH!
Reading the following post ……
I felt like my entire life flashed before my eyes…….
Thanks for remembering a not to distant time when popular culture was enjoyable for everyone watching.
Remember the incantation inside the ring;
“In canis corpori trans muto.”
Lou
One of my favorites from my Disney Channel youth was Treasure of Matecumbe. I remembered only images from it (mainly that of Peter Ustinov getting swept out to sea by a tidal wave), but I found it on Ebay, and spent $3 American dollars on a VHS copy.
The sender sent, as a bonus, a copy of The Boatniks. Doing so nearly doubled the amount he spent on shipping, but I’m never one to look a gift horse in the mouth.
I haven’t watched it, as doing so would only spoil the wonders my mind creates for it.
As such, I offer it to you. Just shoot me an e-mail.