Legends of the Dumb

I have previously written of my inexplicable childhood belief that the actor Marc Singer, star of V and The Beastmaster was in fact, completely and totally blind.

Sad to say, that was not the only idiotic notion that my friends and I took as the gospel truth. We all believed Mikey, the kid from the Life cereal commercial, died from an explosive combination of pop rocks and coke. (I think this was a nationwide belief.) And certain of us – including my sister if I recollect correctly – lived in mortal fear that a dragonfly would sew up their lips. I will not even speak of the ridiculous fables that spread among the credulous concerning Phil Collins and that damnable In The Air Tonight song…

Almost as silly as the notion of a blind Marc Singer was our belief that Volkswagen buggies were airtight and therefore if you drove one into a river the car would float, and gently drift downstream. Like a boat. Which demonstrates how completely detached from reality children can be. Now – considering that my parents owned a Volkswagen bug (convertible) which sounded ready to fly into a million pieces when it accelerated above 40 MPH, my unquestioning faith that the same vehicle was as amphibious as a Higgins boat is proof positive that between the ages of say, six and sixteen, I would pretty much believe anything, the more fantastical the better.